Hitler EHSI

Hitler EHSI

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Extendicare’s 2009 fantasy football draft will be held at Fanatics Sports Central It’s on the southwest corner of Chicago and Jefferson Streets Starting promptly at 5:30pm, it’ll be a pretty long drive from our bunker. But I think we can make it if we leave promtly after your afternoon nap. The long drive won’t be so bad knowing that I’m taking Adrian Peterson at #1. My Fuhrer Our . . . Our I/T Department blocked last week’s email from Commissioner Bruce. The email said that you’re drafting 12th. You guys in the back Get me some yogurt, crepes, and butter. What a bunch of crap! How can I unseat Steve as champion of this league drafting last? Who audited the draft lottery, Arthur Anderson? First they screwed Enron, now they’re screwing me! I’ll be drafting girls at #12. Thank God that Terry Glenn retired! I’ll be lucky to finish ahead of Dean/Scott this season. I should just use Tom/Carrie’s strategy and draft cute players. That seems to work for them! My Fuhrer, I’m sure you’ll get someone good at #12. My team is gonna stink like Braunschweiger! Don’t you get it? My Fuhrer, this league consists of weak Americans. No matter how weak they are, I’m still drafting last. What the hell! Do you have any idea how long this draft is gonna take? By the time I make my first pick. I’ll have eaten $20 worth of wings. And I’ll be drunk as a skunk – trying to keep up with Art. He’s got a tapper in his basement for God’s sake! He’s going to drink me under the table before I’ve made a single pick! By then, I’ll probably be swearing more than Lisa Veley. Incredible! I better not get stuck sitting next to Bob. I’m not going to watch him bang his chest all night long. Brett Favre is not the answer for the Vikings. Dead last. I’ll probably get stuck sitting next to Kim & Amy. Kim will keep telling me how much she misses John Elway. And Amy will be complaining that all her ideas were shot down at the league meeting. And don’t forget all those boxes in the back of the bunker. I ordered Adrian Peterson bobbleheads for everyone I know. He was going to lead me to a championship! It’s ok. Jen/Dan couldn’t win a championship with Peterson last year. I guess I’ll hafta come up with a new strategy. Brandon Marshall caught a ton of balls last year. I’ll draft him. Yup. He’s my man. I hear that Fanatics is Milwaukee’s only Vegas style sports bar. Whatever the hell that means. I hope they have strippers.

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