Welcome to the first ever episode of THE FPG FRONTMEN The greatest YouTube channel of all time! Apart from James Charles and FPG! What? His makeup tutorials and FPGs gaming are incredible! What? These cheek and hand bones won’t
define themselves, Lionel! Uhhh, ok? This week we held auditions to join, THE FPG FRONTMEN And here’s how we got on! -And cut!
-Time to go to work… THE FPG FRONTMEN AUDITIONS Introduce yourself to the camera please! Zlatan needs no introductions… Oh, he’ll be a ripe pain in the arse. True, and think of the health and safety issues on set with that
big hooter nose of his. We’ll be in touch! You’d better be.
(Hulk whimpering like Neymar JR fake crying after a slight touch) Name to camera please! Kylian Mbop, from de Paris Saint Tuchel So Kylian Mbop, what skills will you bring
to THE FPG FRONTMEN? In true French tradition, I’m a great man, gamer and turtle impressionist! Guess who? Ooh Ooh Ooh!
Dhalsim, Feet Fighter 2! -It’s Erling Håland
-Who? Please pick me.
Please! (Devilish giggling intensifies) PICK ME! How the hell do we say no
to Diego Costly Coffee? We don’t. Anger and ranting equals
cha-ching on YouTube. Google “AFTV”! How about this one? Ooh Ooh Ooh, Wolverine! Dude! Lewandowski! Jeff Bridges? Arriba! Alexis from Inter! (Piano playing intensifies) Holy sxxt! He’s sensational! He clearly put all of that free time at
Manchester United to good use! (finishing playing piano) (sighs) Ok, last one! (imitates Ronaldo) SIUUUUUUUUU! SIUUUUUUUUU! Lionel, notice how he did my celebration,
and uh, not yours? Levels… Sergio Aguero from Manchester… CUUUTTTT! -What?
-Oh come on guys! Everyone knows we don’t want argentine midget doubles on here! I want this channel to be a success, not another underwhelming failure. Alright, guys!
Troy Parrot from… CUT! He’s not ready!!! HE’S NOT READY!!! (imitating Zlatan) Zlatan from Zweeden. (normal voice) Hahaha, just kidding. (claps) Thomas Muller?
I’m a huge fan of your comedy work. -Thanks!
-I absolutely pissed myself laughing, during your 2 hour show
in the 2014 World Cup Final! (giggles) -Gareth Bale from Madrid…
-Gareth, what? To be honest bud,
I don’t really want to be here. My agent forced me to show up. Oh, no change there then! Olivier, from the genes of the Gods! Why should we pick you, Olivier? Because I have sexy GQ feet…
for a big man! Yeah, we can see that! I use beautiful moisturizing cream on them 3 sexy times a day! Speaking of cream, let’s get Benzema in. NEXT! Karim? Karim? Where the hell is he? Ah, Karim. Leave the takes to us. Truly, you need a cameraman on set. He has a point. -Okay. You’re in!
-Yes. Neymar, currently living in diving and whimpering exile
in Paris. -You’re in!
–Vamos!-Wait a minute.
-I’ll let you use my hairstylist on set. -You’re in!
–Vamos!Pick me. I’m a really nice guy. Nice guy? This isn’t Tinder, Mohamed. Sadio from Liverpool. Pick me just to piss Mo off. Drink with a smile.Vamos! -Luka Jo-
-No time wasters, please! -Eden Haz-
-I said no time wasters! But I have great ideas on
food challenges we could do. NO TIME WASTERS! Erling from Dortmund. So Erling, what would you bring
to THE FPG FRONTMEN table? Well, when it comes to diss tracks
and raps, I’m a flow king. AAHHHHH! Ooh ooh ooh! Jadon Sancho!
YES! Finally, I got one. -Want to see me in a full floggin flow?
-No thanks, Erling. I’ve already seen it on YouTube. No offense, but your rapping is
almost as bad as Ed Sheeran’s. Marcus from Manchester! Don’t settle with second best
Frontman from England. Pick me. That’s not having him in
my team in the charity football match. -He’s trophy intolerant.
-(groans) Paulo from Tu- For the last time Paulo,
I tested negative from the Coronavirus. -You can take your hand down now.
-Never! -Teemu Pukki from Norwich.
-No way! He looks like an extra from
Game of Thrones. Ousmane from Barce- Thanks but no thanks, Ousmane. We wouldn’t be able to afford the
medical bills now, would we? -Yeah. That was I was going to say.
-Ah. Seriously. What’s the point? (sigh) I never get picked for anything. Mason from Manchester. Mason, do you have Odion Igalo’s number? Chewy from Barcelona. -This is a song dedicated to… Lionel.
-Argh, please.I’m in love with a goal by…Ow! Jesus Christ! Patrice! Why did you do that, Patrice? It wasn’t Pat– OWW Jesus Christ! (sob) Timo from Leipzig! I’ll do anything to leave the Bundesliga.
Anything! Buy our merch. Pierre from North London. Please, whoever sees me… come and rescue me. Arsenal’s holding me against my will. Please! PLEASE!!! Pierre! I’ll save you, Pierre!
Pierre! Edinson Cava- NEXT!!! Mauro Icardi from Par- No trouble makers! Come to think of it…
that means no Neymar! -What?
-What the fu- Antoine from- Security! Security!
Can you remove this homeless guy, please? -What? I’m not-
-That hair is disgusting! -What?
-I can smell it from here! Lionel, tell him. SECURITY!!! Ah my old friend… Wayne Rooney! If you wink at me one more time, I’ll kick you in the balls as well. Great audition.
We’ll be in touch. Raheem from… whoa! Wait, put me down!
Joe, put me- Name to camera. Name to camera. Name to camera! Oh for f*** sake.
NEXT! Gonzalo from Turin and today I’m pitching “Hungry Hungry Higuains”. What? This isn’t Dragon’s Den, Gonzalo. -Oh. My bad.
-Yes. Yes you are. -Send in Romelu in, please?
-Oh why bother? Ok. Next up are the Frontmen from the MLS and then the Scottish Premiership. You’re shitting me, right?
That’s a wrap! But we haven’t auditioned any
females footballers yet. Oh please! Go walk, go home!
That’s a wrap! Where? What an epic first episode! Who makes the Final XI?
You decide. Click the link in the description below
and vote for your favorite forward into THE FRONTMEN! Episode 2 drops next Frontmen Sunday. Make sure you subscribe. And turn on notifications And smash that like button. We want 60000 likes this week. Now would you kindly eff off! -And cut!
-Well that went well. I’m not sure that was a good idea to
tell the audience to eff off. And I don’t think it’s
a good idea to critique the creative director of THE FRONTMEN,
unless you want to be fired of course. You can’t fire me. That’s not what it says on
the contract I forced you to sign. What? For f*** sake!
And there is no way I’m letting you do my makeup next week either. Oh really? You may want to
check that contract again! Oh for f*** sake Subtitles by the Amara.org community